Hope.

A bit of a departure...

Let's talk about hope.  Beautiful hope.  If you can't even picture it, this is for you. 

If you had hope once, but you don't have it now and don't even have the energy to go looking for it, I know how you feel.  I went through a rather major depression about 10 years ago.  I don't tell my spiritual story very often, but I should.  It's a hard thing to talk about. I don't want people to think I'm a kook. I don't want to offend people.  I don't want to talk people out of putting me in their projects because they think I'm going to thump everybody with my Bible. And I am such a flawed and fallible human who on occasion gets really mad or curses out loud or has a beer...in public!... who am I to start talking about God and how much I like Him and how much He likes me?  I want PEOPLE to like me, too.  That's a lot about me. I should get over myself.  This is about you.  You need to know what I know about how to get out of that place you're in.  People can call me crazy.  Trust me, I've been called worse. ;)

Back to the story...I'll summarize. 

Big hope. 

Big dream. 

No fear. 

Go get it.

Closed doors.

Bad decisions. 

Time passes. 

Bad boyfriends.

Debt.

Fired.  

Broke. 

Alone. 

Smoker. 

Older.

Fatter.

Bills, bills, bills. 

Work.

Blah. 

What is the point? I hate this. This. What is "this"? Life. I hate life. Wow. I hate life. 

And that's the summary of how, within a decade, I went from fresh and fearless to tired and hopeless. I didn't really want to kill myself because it would have taken too much effort.  I would have just really preferred not to wake up. 

At about that time I, from desperation, started going to this church....I know, church.  I'm not a fan either.  But some churches actually allow God himself to come in and breathe life into what is dead, and simply provide HIm the open door to it.  That happened to me.  Not only is the very real Spirit of God present (I know it sounds crazy - I told you I didn't want people to think I'm kooky), but the guy that is pastor there teaches in such a way that it actually becomes applicable to normal life. All I know is I went from wishing I wouldn't wake up to, one day, waking up to birds singing outside my window and putting on my running shoes for the best run on the shiniest morning of my life.  Hope.  

Well, today, I went to the Church of the Highlands website and realized that Chris Hodges is again talking about exactly this....how to navigate out of the doldrums (an actual place, who knew?) into a life you actually want to live.  If you know what I'm talking about, you might like this link: 

Hope in the Doldrums...

I'm very happy to say that my life is pretty darn fulfilling and meaningful now in truly miraculous ways.       There's a verse that says God will restore what the locusts have eaten.  I love that visual.  I have known some locusts. Yes, I have.  And He has.  And He's not done.  It's all still growing.

What's also funny is that when I started this blog, I ran across this video which I just love.  Rarely is something sweet and triumphant simultaneously.  This young man encapsulates the whole process in a couple of minutes. Bravo!

Triumph!

"May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, abounding in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"We Could Make That!"...AKA Community Theatre

"We Could Make That!"...AKA Community Theatre

(repost of entry from January 2012)  

Kids today. They think you need a hundred dollar wooden puppet theatre kiosk with a real red velvet curtain and gold-leaf trim to put on a puppet show. My poor child (or lucky child, depending on who you are) was born to a mother who tells her to “make it yourself”. It’s my response to practically everything.  All you really need is a box with a hole in it or a curtain rod in a doorway with a baby blanket over it.  Boom. Puppet theatre. One of her favorite things to play is  house in the 4-wheeler box.  You start with a box.  Cut some holes for windows so people can see in/out, decorate it, put some baby dolls in it, get in and act like you’re somebody you’re not in a place you’re not. hmmmm.  It’s more like theatre than I thought. 

This week has been an adventure in jerry-rigging... fliers out of video stills, music boxes out of greeting card recordings.  I wish that *poof* a PR person would appear.  Or a costumer. There’s a small staff at this theatre and my show isn’t the only thing going.  So I’ve been fiddling with photo layouts, compiling databases,  shopping at thrift stores, looking for tiny recording devices.  And I’m learning to knit.  That’s a blog in itself.  Don’t forget, the whole reason I started this blog was to promote “The Last Flapper” at South of Broadway Theatre Company opening January 20th.  Don’t miss it!  www.southofbroadway.com.  But I digress.

Are there actors whose only job is to act?  I’m not sure. Maybe that’s what happens when you hit it big. But it would be like being a mom and only being around to tell the bedtime story. Truth is, the collaborative process is one of the best parts of putting a show together. Alot of “actor homework” is all in your head...memorizing, making up pretend memories for your character, etc.  The “collaboration” is usually done on the stuff that nobody went into theatre for...pouring sodas at intermission, folding newsletters, sawing lumber.  In true community theatre it doesn’t really matter who you are, somebody’s got to clean the toilet.  My suggestion to anyone starting out in community theatre is this: when you buy all those headshots and workshops, buy a good cordless screwdriver.  That way after the last performance, after the crowd has gone and everyone sets about tearing down and cleaning up, you will be high on a ladder dismantling a pretend living room rather than spending your afternoon with rubber gloves and a toilet brush.  Communicable, community....same root , now isn’t it?

My friend, Danny Jones, did a terrific documentary about just this do-it-yourself aspect of theatre.  Let’s watch!  Just click on the pic at the top of this story.